Friday, January 21, 2011

My life was made for these purposes

Have you ever sat and wondered what life really is supposed to mean? What exactly are we put on earth for? Do we have a purpose here or are we just supposed to be? Why were we created if we didn't have a plan in life? Some of us were meant to be mothers, fathers, grandparents and caregivers but sometimes u gotta wonder if there is more.

while thinking these things I realized one of my purpose in life not only to be a mother to my children but to save a man who had it so hard in life the funny thing is I didn't walk into his life he walked into mine and when he did I could sense that he had been thru so much and all he wanted was to love someone and be loved in return.
What I couldn't understand was how any woman can let a man like this pass them by? I mean isn't this what everyone looks for? what everyone wants? Didn't people dream of finding the right one? He has so much to offer, I mean hes not perfect he has his moments but I don't want perfection. Its funny tho every time I look at him I feel this sense of comfort and happiness spread through my body and I just look at him and think if there was such a thing as perfection he would be it.

I never in my life thought I could be capable of loving someone as much. Every morning I open my eyes and hes there laying next to me and I just lay there watching him sleep thinking to myself after all the pain and hurt I have been thru this is gods gift to me. He wanted Carlos to find me, he wanted us to be together. what other explanation would explain how someone from new jersey ended up finding a profile of one single girl all the way in California out of the millions of girls on myspace???

There was a time in my life when I didn't have any faith, I assumed after all the shit I had been thru there couldn't be a higher power cuz if there was he was fucking me over hard. but when I finally came to reality I realized he wasn't fucking me over he was punishing me for the things I did in my life. I gave up 2 babies but he still gave me the opportunity to have 2 beautiful daughters but punished me with a man who abused me mentally, emotionally and physically but in the end he gave me the opportunity to be with a man who loves me more then life itself. I guess in the end I do believe in god and I know I owe him a lot of thanks not only for the good but also the bad that has made me a stronger, wiser person today, he taught me what I was doing was wrong but that its never too late to change your path and lead down a new road leaving the bad shit behind you.

Look at me now!! I have 3 beautiful children, a man I adore so much, and a life I want to live.......